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Discussion 1 to Ask the Patriarch 102
Another answer for Sarah

by: Doug Smith

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Sarah,

I empathize where you are... for a period of time I considered myself intellectually an atheist emotionally an agnostic... it would take more time than this space allows, to share my journey from intellectual assent to presently seeking to be always connected with our Loving Creator, Who resides in each human being (I call it the Loving Spirit, within)... any one and the only ones who experience, and therefore know the Reality of God's Love is brought into the unbelievable awareness and indescribable feelings when one realizes the Reality that God is Love and if you're willing to explore it further, the Reality that God is only Love... our Loving Creator gave us free will, so the human explanations of negative characteristics of God,like jealousy,anger, vengeance, etc, are the result of humans who equate our personal, negative experiences/feelings/situations etc. as coming from God, when really they occur because we're imperfectly connected with our Loving Parent and so are others around us...

As I said, earlier, I am in the midst of working through the myriad of 'distractions' that I realize keep me from experiencing the Loving Presence of God, which is the highest state of being that is available for us to experience... I am ordering books by/about brother lawrence - "practice of the Presence of God" and "living in the Presence of God"... all that I can remember from reading them forty years ago, early in my connection within [which prematurely got interrupted and corrupted by 'bibliolatry' a term I use to describe worshiping the book (bible, koran, etc.) rather than the Loving Spirit, within]... I increasingly lost that connection and only in the past few years have been making progress in the amount of connection that I experience... there is nothing I can say to you that will convince you, mentally... the faith part comes in choosing to believe that there is a Loving Creator Who wants to bathe you in 'His' Love, from within your heart and mind...

Q & A 102

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