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Discussion 2 to Ask the Patriarch 9
Thoughts on Faking It

by Eric Johnson

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I happened on to your site today, and find it interesting and informative. My comments are directed to the discussion Ask the Patriarch 9: Should I fake my religion?

I've had a similar experience with a girlfriend (former girlfriend) who was a devout Christian. Eventually marriage came up and we started talking about religion. At the time I didn't rely define my religious belief in any way, now I'd say apathetic agnostic, but more apathetic than anything else. This was a conflict, it didn't work out, we broke up. She wanted a Christian husband, I just want a loving wife.

Apathetic or not, I still believe no person should fake it. Like the patriarch said in one of his replies, a relationship, even a marriage, can work despite differing religious beliefs with mutual respect. The only way faking it would still work is if you both know that you're faking it, but neither of you care as long as she's happy. I personally proposed that idea but it didn't fly, and being apathetic (lazy), I gave up.

I don't think any kind of religious discussion or compromise can influence love. We didn't have it. If you have a good love relationship though, you can work out the religious details. My point is the only person you can ask if you "should fake it" is your signifigant other, and probably not someone outside the relationship. But don't try to dupe her, because you won't be happy, and if she sees through it she won't be happy... you can't win if you go that route.

I hope that helps. Best of luck with your ministry.